Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Ten Birds a Leaping

Family Christmas dinners are fun. And when there's a grandma who refuses to get hearing aids, conversation often walks that fine line between exasperating and hilarious. Like this one:

The extended family of aunts and uncles and Grandma were all sitting around the table eating ice cream out of festive holiday mugs. Grandma had one with the words, "On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me..." on one side and then, "Ten lords a leaping," on the other side underneath an odd little picture of ten lords a leaping.
Part way through the ice cream Grandma became interested in the cup and started singing the song. "On the tenth day of Christmas....I can't remember what the tenth day is. This picture is some sort of jumping man in a funny suit."
"Lords a leaping," I tell her.
"Does anyone remember what my true love gave to me on the tenth day of Christmas?" she asked again, obviously missing my first response.
"Lords. A. Leaping." I repeat with a bit more volume and enunciation.
"Birds?! Emily, does that look like any kind of bird you've ever seen?!" Now Grandma is looking at me like I'm crazy.
"LORDS A LEAPING!" yells the entire table in unison.
"Oh, yes, yes! Lords a leaping. Of course," says Grandma as she begins humming the tune with the new found words.
"Hearing aids, Mom," says an aunt from across the table.
"What?"
"Exactly."

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