Every morning I get up wondering if this is going to be the day that I'm going to be *Ka-BAM!* full of energy and all better. I walk to the coffee pot looking over my shoulder, mostly in a figurative sense, but sometimes literally, expecting the familiar wall of fatigue to hit me. And in the past couple weeks of waiting for these meds to kick-in, that's pretty much how I go about the day.
The past 2 mornings it hasn't been the dramatic *Ka-BAM!* that I was expecting. What I'm experiencing feels more like the soft click of shifting gears on a bike. When I wake up it feels easier to pedal than it did the day before, which is GREAT feeling. And I've been able to stay awake all day and even be functional. Awesome!
In the midst of this I am definitely seeing Emily the Skeptic and the Mocker more clearly. She's always there with the "Yeah, but's..." "Yeah, you're feeling pretty good now, Preston, but how long is that going to last?" "Yeah, God's been good to you now, but..." And the skepticism and lies from the toilet can just continue on from there, if I let them. So I try not to.
But maybe that's part of the lesson that I get to learn, part of the refining that I get to go through in this season? Learning to actively rest in the TRUTH of Who God is. He is good. I've given my life to telling people that, so maybe I should start living it a little more, huh? I know, I know, we'll spend a lifetime growing in our understanding of our relationship with Him in light of His character.
2 comments:
Last weekend I took the gears off my mountain bike. It's great. I don't have to worry about shifting.
Except when I get to a hill that's too steep for me to climb. Or when I'm going downhill and I just spin my feet.
Maybe there's some relevant metaphor there. But I'm too tired to see it.
Weird. I was just daydreaming about riding a fixed-gear bike yesterday, but in a non-metaphorical way. Just in a "hey, that was really fun, maybe I should do it again," sort of way.
When you come up with the metaphor, I want to hear it. I see some serious potential there.
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